"Weird Al" Yankovic - grammar lesson

It looks like Weird Al may have joined SPOGG. So what does Grammar Girl have to say about less vs. fewer?

Less and fewer are easy to mix up. They mean the same thing—the opposite of more—but you use them in different circumstances (1). The basic rule is that you use less with mass nouns and fewer with count nouns.

Count Nouns Versus Mass Nouns

Now I'm worried that I've scared you off, but it's easy to remember the difference between mass nouns and count nouns.

A count noun is just something you can count. I'm looking at my desk and I see books, pens, and M&M's. I can count all those things, so they are count nouns and the right word to use is fewer. I should eat fewer M&M's.

Mass nouns are just things that you can't count individually. Again, on my desk I see tape and clutter. These things can't be counted individually, so the right word to use is less. If I had less clutter, my desk would be cleaner. Another clue is that you don't make mass nouns plural: I would never say I have clutters on my desk or that I need more tapes to hold my book covers together.

So, those signs over the express lane at Kroger's ought to read "15 items or fewer" rather than the popular but grammatically incorrect "15 items or less."

Usage Tip: Lie vs. Lay

When you're dealing with the present tense, it's pretty simple to keep it straight. "Lay" is a transitive verb -- you lay something, meaning you put it down. A direct object is required (direct objects are boldfaced):

I lay my head on my pillow.
She lays her hands on his head.
They lay their magic carpets in the garage.

"Lie" is an intransitive verb, meaning there's no direct object required. It's something you can do all by your self:

The dog lies in the sun.
I am lying on my belly.
The oysters lie on the beach.

Use this as a memory device for lie vs. lay in the present tense: You lay something down, but people lie down by themselves.

I shall let Grammar Girl explain the usage tip for past tense:

...But then everything goes all haywire, because lay is the past tense of lie. It's a total nightmare! I tried and tried to come up with a mnemonic for this, but I couldn't do it. Instead, I've made a table that you can print out from the website and tape up over your desk or in your notebook, because you just have to memorize this or look it up every time. [see graphic above]

So, anyway, here's how to conjugate these two verbs:

The past tense of lie is lay, so:

Last week, Steve lay down on the floor.
The cat lay in the mud after it rained yesterday.

The past tense of lay is laid, so

Last week, I laid the TPS report on your desk.
Mary forcefully laid her ring on the table.

The past participle of lie is lain, so

Steve has lain on the floor for days.
The cat has lain in the mud for hours.

The past participle of lay is laid, so

I have laid the data sheet on your desk.
Mary has forcefully laid her ring on the table.

Usage Tip: Affect vs. Effect

This is perhaps one of the trickiest usage issues in the English language; but the cartoon above serves as an excellent memory device. But be careful: There are exceptions. Here's a simple, brief explanation from Grammar Girl:

The majority of the time you use affect with an a as a verb and effect with an e as a noun.

Affect
Affect with an a means "to influence," as in, "The arrows affected Ardvark," or "The rain affected Amy's hairdo." Affect can also mean, roughly, "to act in a way that you don't feel," as in, "She affected an air of superiority."

Effect
Effect with an e has a lot of subtle meanings as a noun, but to me the meaning "a result" seems to be at the core of all the definitions. For example, you can say, "The effect was eye-popping," or "The sound effects were amazing," or "The rain had no effect on Amy's hairdo."

Common Uses of Affect and Effect
So most of the time affect with an a is a verb and effect with an e is a noun. There are rare instances where the roles are switched, and I'll get to those later, but for now let's focus on the common meanings. This is "Quick and Dirty" grammar, and my impression from your questions is that most people have trouble remembering the basic rules of when to use these words, so if you stick with those, and you'll be right 95% of the time.

So, most of the time, affect with an a is a verb and effect with an e is a noun; and now we can get to the mnemonics. First, the mnemonic involves a very easy noun to help you remember: aardvark. Yes, if you can remember aardvark -- a very easy noun -- you'll always remember that affect with an a is a verb and effect with an e is a noun. Why? Because the first letters of "a very easy noun" are the same first letters as "affect verb effect noun!" That's a very easy noun. Affect (with an a) verb effect (with an e) noun.

"But why Aardvark?" you ask. Because there's also an example to help you remember. It's "The arrows affected Aardvark. The effect was eye-popping." It should be easy to remember that affect with an a goes with the a-words, arrow and aardvark, and that effect with an e goes with the e-word, eye-popping. If you can visualize the sentences, "The arrows affected the aardvark. The effect was eye-popping," it's pretty easy to see that affect with an a is a verb and effect with an e is a noun.

Rare Uses of Affect and Effect
So what about those rare meanings that don't follow the rules I just gave you? Well, affect can be used as a noun when you're talking about psychology--it means the mood that someone appears to have. For example, "She displayed a happy affect." Psychologists find it useful because they know that you can never really understand what someone else is feeling. You can only know how they appear to be feeling.

And, effect can be used as a verb that essentially means "to bring about," or "to accomplish." For example, you could say, "Aardvark hoped to effect change within the burrow."

read the whole post...

Usage Tip: Hark Back or Hearken Back?

Hark means to listen attentively, as in "Hark, the herald angels sing..."

Hark back is a related idiom, meaning "to return to a previous point, as in a narrative." (Myself, I prefer the synonymous idiom "givelendan ear," also written as "givelendone's ear.")

Hearken is nearly synonymous to hark, meaning "to make an effort to hear something." However, the idiom above does not synonymously translate into hearken back, though many mistakenly use "hearken back" rather than "hark back."

So, hark back -- or givelendone's ear!

Usage Tip: Historic vs. Historical

Lee's surrender at Appomattox -- historic or historical?

Recent events have made us very conscious of the fact that we are making history. But are we witnessing historic events or historical events?

My Associated Press Stylebook offers a very simple answer: “A historic event is an important occurrence, one that stands out in history. Any occurrence in the past is a historical event.”

The surrender of Robert E. Lee at Appomattox is a historic event.

What people were doing around the courthouse may be of some historical interest.

One source I found offers a helpful mnemonic device: “it ‘al’ happened in the past.” (By the way, a mnemonic device is one that aids the memory.)

Usage Tip: Alternate vs. Alternative

An article said a utility "plans to freeze its electric rates for five years, and by 2003 will allow all its customers to buy power from alternate sources." The writer almost certainly wanted "alternative," meaning providing a choice among options. "Alternate" means by turns, or every other, as in "alternate Sundays."

If you want to book a particular room in a hotel and you find that the room is already booked, the hotel could offer you alternative accommodation.

If a shop is not open every day but say on Monday/Wednesday/Friday, you would say it was open alternate days in the week.

Usage Tip O' the Week: i.e. versus e.g

The abbreviations i.e. and e.g. are commonly misused -- but that does not make it acceptable. Each has a distinct and limited usage. They are both abbreviations for Latin terms. I.e. stands for id est and means roughly "that is." E.g. stands for exempli gratia, which means “for example.” Both are used to introduce parenthetical statements.

An easy way to remember which is which: think of i.e., as meaning “in other words,” and e.g., which starts with e, means “for example.” I = in other words. E= example.

e.g. means “for example,” so you use it to introduce an example or examples: I like card games, e.g., bridge and crazy eights. Because e.g. is used, you know a list of examples of card games is provided.

i.e. means “in other words,” so you use it to introduce a parenthetical clarification: I'm going to the place where I work, i.e., the university. The place where I work is the university.

In American English, it is standard to use a comma after i.e. and e.g.

Usage Tip: Who vs. That vs. Which

Which of the following sentences is correct?

a. He's the man that sold me that clunker.
b. He's the man who sold me that clunker.

A simple grammar rule-of-thumb applies here: you use who when you are talking about a person and that when you are talking about an object. Stick with that rule and you'll be safe.

That being said, the rule-of-thumb isn't hard-and-fast. The American Heritage Dictionary says,

It is entirely acceptable to write either the man that wanted to talk to you, or the man who wanted to talk to you. [emphasis added]

Even Chaucer did it, for example.

Now, that vs. which is a bit more complicated -- a more hard-and-fast a grammatical rule. That introduces essential clauses while which introduces nonessential clauses. Some examples:

Essential: I do not trust products that claim "all natural ingredients" because this phrase can mean almost anything. (We would not know which products were being discussed without the that clause.)

Non-Essential: The product claiming "all natural ingredients," which appeared in the Sunday newspaper, is on sale. (The product is already identified. Therefore, which begins a nonessential clause.)

Usage Tip o'the Week: Bad vs. Badly

Question: Which sentence is grammatically correct?

a. I feel bad about leaving the dog outside all night in the thunderstorm.
b. I feel badly about leaving the dog outside all night in the thunderstorm.

Before you read on, write your answer on the back of your left hand (Soulof..., you may write it on the back of your right). Now consider the following:

To say "I feel badly" could imply that there's something wrong with your sense of touch, as if you're in a dark room having trouble feeling your way around with numb fingers. Here's why:

"Badly" is an adverb, meaning that it modifies a verb (An adverb may also modify an adjective or another adverb. So when you say , "I feel badly," the adverb badly relates to the the action verb feel. Since the action verb feel can mean "to touch things," feeling badly can mean you're having trouble touching things.

As Grammar Girl relates: This is a problem with most of the verbs that describe senses such as taste and smell. Consider the obvious difference in the meanings of these two sentences:

I smell bad.
I smell badly.

When you say, “I smell badly,” badly is an adverb that modifies the verb smell. You're saying your sniffer isn't working, just like when you say you feel badly you're saying that your fingers aren't working. When you say, “I smell bad,” bad is an adjective, which means it modifies a noun. You're saying that you stink, just like when you say “I feel bad” you're saying that you are regretful or sad or ill or wicked.

The reason people often think they should say they feel badly is that after most other verbs it's correct to use the adverb. For example, if you gave a horrible speech you might say, “It went badly.” If a child threw a fit in a shopping mall, it would be correct to say, “She behaved badly.”

So, let's get back to the original question about the dog you left out in the thunderstorm. Look at the back of your hand. If you wrote A, congratulations, you are correct. Have someone pat you on the back. In that sentence above, feel is used as a linking verb -- and bad is the predicate adjective (and not an adverb).

Usage Tip o'the Week: Good vs. Well

How should you answer the simple question, "How are you today?"

There's nothing technically wrong with answering, "I'm well," when asked "How are you?" since "well" in this context is an adjective that generally means "not sick." It's just that "well" is also an adverb that modifies "am," and not "I". The adjective "good" does describe "I," which seems much more to the point of the question.

So, if you would like everyone to know that you are not sick with stomach cramps or a splitting headache, it would be appropriate to answer: "I'm well."

But if you would like everyone to know you feel emotionally good, the more common intention, it would be appropriate -- and grammatically correct to answer: "I'm good" or "I'm great" or "I'm fine, thank you."

But "good" can feel wrong to those with painful memories of being corrected by their know-it-all elders. May I suggest "I am fine"? There's no absolute here, but it's probably better to save "well" for when someone asks you how you are doing.

Here's what Grammar Girl has to say on the topic:

“I'm good” is what you're likely to hear in general conversation, but there are grammar nitpickers out there who will chide you if you say it. The wonderful news is that those nitpickers are wrong: it's perfectly acceptable to say, “I'm good,” and you shouldn't have to shamefully submit to teasing remarks such as the time-honored and leering, “How good are you?”

The nitpickers will tell you that well is an adverb (and therefore modifies verbs) and that good is an adjective (and therefore modifies nouns), but the situation isn't that simple.

The key is to understand how linking verbs differ from action verbs. (Trust me, this is worth it so you can look people in the eye and say, “I'm good,” with absolute confidence.)

read on...

Are You Annoyingly Redundant?

The grammar tip o'the week comes courtesy of "Grammar Girl," who asks an apt question: Are you annoyingly redundant? If you say (or write) later this year or earlier this week, future plans or past history, or "please RSVP" you just might be.

How about these?

In the Process of

One such phrase to excise from your writing is “in the process of,” as in, “My kids are in the process of driving me crazy.” Delete it, and you have, “My kids are driving me crazy.” Anytime you see “in the process of,” take it out and check to see whether any meaning is lost. You’ll save your fingers thousands of superfluous keystrokes over a few decades. (Notice we didn’t need to say “a period of a few decades.”)

Whether or not

Another quick way to trim a couple of words at a time from your writing (and your speech) is to keep an eye on the “whether” – the “whether or not,” that is. I can’t decide whether or not to bring my umbrella. Lose the “or not”in that instance, and you’re fine. Just don’t lose your umbrella.

check out more tips (and be sure to read the comments)